Think you know your partner pretty well? You’ve got their go-to coffee order memorised, know exactly which takeaway they’ll suggest, and can recite that one story they tell at every party… word for word. And yet, every now and then, a question pops up that stops you in your tracks, and you suddenly realise there’s still plenty to learn.
With this in mind, we decided to round up some questions and ask 1,000 Brits about how well they really know their other halves. As a little spoiler, only 11% know their partner’s go-to karaoke song, and on a deeper note, fewer than half feel confident about what their partner values most in a relationship. So, even when you think you’ve got someone sussed, there’s usually more to find out.
Inspired by this, we’ve pulled together a bunch of relationship questions to ask your partner, ranging from the light-hearted and silly to the thoughtful and revealing. Ready to unearth some truths? Let’s dive in!
Fun and easy icebreaker questions
Only 18% of Brits know the weirdest and funniest thing their partner has ever done, meaning 82% are still in the dark. What’s more, we found that only 12% know their partner’s most embarrassing moment.
To help close the gap, these low-pressure questions are ideal for uncovering fun facts on date night, along with a few stories you’ve never heard:
- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
- If your life had a theme song, what would it be and why?
- What’s the strangest situation you’ve found yourself in by accident?
- If you could swap lives with any fictional character for a day, who would it be?
- What’s the weirdest habit you had as a child that you never grew out of?
- What’s a strange talent or party trick you have that no one knows about?
Questions to ask your partner at the start of a relationship
If it’s still early days, we’ve also pulled together some questions to ask when dating someone. Top tip: there’s no pressure to ask them all at once, think of them as conversation starters rather than a full-on interview…
- What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
- What’s your ideal date?
- What are your top three non-negotiables in a relationship?
- What makes you want to be in a relationship right now?
- How do you usually spend your weekends?
- What are some traits you look for in a partner?
Couples’ questions to ask when moving in together
Moving in together is a huge milestone, and it comes with plenty of practical (and not-so-glamorous) conversations. So, before you start unpacking the boxes, here are some questions you can ask to make sure you’re on the same page:
- How do you like to tackle household chores? And are there any that you really hate?
- What does your ideal daily routine look like?
- How do you prefer to manage money and shared expenses?
- How much alone time do you need to feel recharged?
- How do you like to handle guests and visitors?
- What’s your biggest pet peeve when living with someone else?
If you’re about to pick up the keys, we’ve also pulled together some top tips for moving in with your partner to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Questions about love languages
Some of us thrive on thoughtful words, while others prefer acts of service like a warm cuppa without being asked. And yet, only 32% of Brits actually know their partner’s love languages. The below questions allow you to dig a little deeper and work out what makes them feel appreciated:
- Are there any small gestures that instantly make your day better?
- When do you feel the most appreciated in our relationship?
- How do you prefer to handle conflicts and disagreements?
- How much quality time together feels right, and why?
- What’s your favourite way to spend a day off?
- What’s something that always makes you smile on a bad day?
Questions about the future
Don’t worry, talking about the future doesn’t need to feel too serious or stressful. These questions are meant to keep things relaxed while sparking open conversations about what life could look like together. After all, only 33% of Brits know their partner’s future intentions, and a further 15% wish their partner would open up more, so there’s plenty to discover:
- When you picture your ideal future, what does it look like?
- Are there any bucket-list trips you’re desperate to take?
- Do you want children (and if so, how many?)
- What are your biggest career or personal goals for the next five years?
- What’s a silly or big dream you’ve never said out loud?
- What are some long-term things you’d love for us to do together?
Quick-fire relationship questions
Whether you’re short on time or just fancy keeping things light-hearted, these quick-fire questions to ask your partner are perfect for relaxed nights in, road trips, and any time you want a few laughs:
- Big night out or cosy night in?
- Plan everything ahead or wing it as you go?
- Texting or calling?
- Home-cooked or takeaway?
- Coffee dates or pub dates?
- Grand proposal or something intimate?
- Dogs or cats?
Questions to ask during tough times
A relationship (and life in general) isn’t always easy, and knowing how to navigate tricky moments can make all the difference. So, here are some gentle conversation starters to use during tougher times:
- What does a good apology look like to you?
- What helps you to feel heard during an argument?
- Do you prefer space or reassurance when you’re upset?
- How can I support you when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed?
- Are there topics that feel tricky to talk about, and how can I approach them better?
- Is there anything I could stop doing to make conflict easier to handle?
Secrets, surprises, and things we don’t always share
From hidden quirks to embarrassing moments, it’s the little stories that make someone who they are. The following questions are perfect for uncovering some hidden gems about your other half (yes, even if you’ve been together for decades).
After all, 13% of Brits have never told their partner their biggest secret…
- What was your favourite childhood memory?
- What’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t had the chance to?
- What’s something most people are surprised to learn about you?
- Who’s your oldest friend, and what do you love the most about them?
- What topic do you find the most difficult to talk about?
- What’s one thing you’ve never told me?
Whether it’s early days or you’re ten years in, asking questions can help you unearth some new stories and make you and your partner feel closer than ever. So, why not jot down a few of the above and get quizzing your other half?
And if you’re after more fun insights, you’ll find plenty over on the thortful blog. There you can brush up on dating trends and terminology. Or why not explore more question guides, like our questions to ask your dad?
